A sad song about lemons by Mary Hsu
Caveat: Lemonade is easy to drink but contains overtones of filth and leaves a crass aftertaste.














My bedroom smells of Faeces

Friday, August 04, 2006
As the title suggests. (the capitalized 'Faeces' is entirely intentional!!1!)

My dad has been fertilizing his garden with a mixture of chicken manure and the sweat from the tumour on Satan's ballsack. Ideally the latter ingredient would probably cause the plants in the garden to wither and die of unnatural causes, but whoever said life was fair?

Anyway since the front garden is directly positioned in front of my room and consequentially me, I am subjected to the olfactory disaster that is mounds of chicken shit and heaven only knows what. You're probably looking unimpressed and either tempted to or in the act of asking "Why the fuck should I care?", but the truth is this: I don't know why.

I've tried deodorant, room freshener, even perfume - all have been in vain in that they fuse with the smell to create an even more disgusting and life-draining than the original scent. It can be likened to a cockroach in its sheer refusal to die. I'm sure if the smell were a person and you chopped his/her/its head off, it'd still run around for ten days until it eventually dies of starvation. That was a bad analogy.

Anyone have any advice as to how to get rid of the smell so that it will not penetrate my dreams and cause me to die in my sleep? I'm afraid that if I close my eyes to sleep and let the aroma come into contact with my unguarded, unprotected and unwashed body, I will be unable to mentally will it from killing me softly.
6:04 PM :: 5 comments ::

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